The return of the turtle

Claude "The Turtle" Lemieux returns to the Joe tonight, when the Sharks come to town to play the Red Wings. It's not the same Turtle - he's older, no longer one of the Avs and is attempting a career comeback - but for many Wings fans, he will always be hated.

For those who don't remember, Lemieux took a cheap shot to the head of Chris Draper during the 1996 playoffs. That cowardly hit left Drapes with a concussion and a broken jaw, cheek and orbital bones - those injuries required extensive reconstructive surgery. The next year (proving the adage "revenge is a dish best served cold"), Darren McCarty pummeled Lemieux during a slobberknocker of a game which had 18 major penalties for fighting and large patches of blood painting the ice. Even the goalies - Vernon and Roy - got into the bloody melee, much to the delight of the Hockeytown fans.

In case you missed the sheer beauty of the March 26, 1997 game, here are some highlights:



I'll watch tonight's game and will boo along with those in attendance each time Lemieux steps on the ice. Welcome back, Turtle.

I like this economist's plan

This plan, while it would never actually be implemented, makes a lot more sense than the "stimulus" bill coming from the feds.

I want to be like Jake Tapper when I grow up.

'Nuff said.

Local TV

It's winter in Michigan, so it must be time for continuous traffic weather reports. While I understand the desire to have on-location shots (it makes for better TV), I wish the "reporters" would at least make an effort.

Here's a tip for our local TV personalities: We know where your station is located. We can tell - just from seeing you on TV - that you're standing in your freakin' parking lot. The road behind you doesn't make you look more adventurous. It's good for a laugh in the morning, though. You stand outside, all bundled up in your carefully-chosen outfit, pretending as if you've been out in the cold for hours. In reality, you just stepped outdoors a couple of minutes ago, and you will hop back inside your studio as soon as your 30 second airtime is up.

Oh, and why did I state "reporter" in quotes? Because you're a TV personality, not a reporter. We all know it, and you'll feel much better if you just admit it to yourself.

More randomness

It's always funny to hear people talk about "stopping the hate" and then hearing them tear into a vicious diatribe against someone on the other side of the political aisle. Do they even realize they are hypocrites?

"Too many cooks spoil the broth." That's a motto that I will have painted onto the walls when I get my new office. I'm not sure if anyone will heed my new motto - which I also might have tattooed onto my arm - but it will help me relax when the next debacle occurs.

What's more important: Excitement or stability? It's pretty much a given that you can't have both. That's a question best left for the bar, I think, when I've had a few more whiskey & cokes.

I'm putting this online just so I actually follow through on it. I'm joining a gym and will sign up for private lessons. Boxing lessons, to be specific - hilarity should ensure. I envision something more along the lines of "Rabbit Punch" instead of "Rocky," though.

The fall of journalism

This U.S. media failed its readers, viewers and listeners during this election season. While one side of the political aisle was questioned and taken to task, the other was given a pass. How will this play out in the future? Well, Chris Matthews has already said: "I want to do everything I can to make this thing work, this new presidency work." That doesn't sound like scrutiny and truth-seeking will be a part of his new mission.

Michael Malone looked at the media's coverage during the election: http://abcnews.go.com/Business/Story?id=6099188&page=1

Victor Davis Hanson has an even less optimistic view of the future of American journalism: http://article.nationalreview.com/?q=OGFhOWY3YTZkMzliYjFjYTlkMjNjMGNhMTc3ZjYyMWM=&w=MA==

This election was an embarrassment for journalism. Let's see if the media will step up to the challenge and use their platforms responsibly.

Random comments

Note to guy walking across campus in a suit and flip-flops: Buy some shoes.

Scooters should use the bike path, not the road lanes. Seriously - my SUV trumps your scooter, and you just can't go fast enough.

I'm amazed at how jay-walkers and jay-bikers think that if they don't look at you, then they're not going to be caught. Sorry, but this isn't philosophy class: the world really does still exist even if it's not in your immediate line-of-sight.

I made the mistake of going back to the cardiologist for a check-up. Here's a free tip: When a doctor says, "For a man in your situation ..." it's time to run from the room. Medication, blood tests and an all-morning stress test next week. I'm in hell.